hello?
where am i?
sooooo... I'm kiiinda embarrassed about my month-long blog hiatus. Ehh, not really because I'm tired and just about 5 months pregnant and have NO TIME. Pretty stellar excuses if you ask me.
I am truly amazed by the lady bloggy mom who has time to blog regularly and zone out the toddler who is whining and demanding toys and juice and num-nums all while tugging on mommy's clothes. I mean, either you're an amazing multi-tasker, or you need to pay attention to your kid(s) because he's probably choking on a penny right now. Just sayin'.
Boy oh boy, isn't it impossible to be a good mom when you're tired and emotionally exhausted? After I VERY unwillingly woke up before 6am today for the 500th time in a row today (that number is about right), I said outloud, "I JUST WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO! RRRRRR!" to which Troy called from his office, "you sound like a man when you growl like that, aaaaand it's gross," which made me madder, of course.
Sometimes I feel like a great mom to Avery, sometimes I doubt myself, and every once in a while, every part of my being wants to be left alone. Like, by everyone. I want to just go somewhere and turn my mind and body off.
On a side note, Avery just spilled an entire cup of milk on the chair and floor while "Don't bite your friends" is blaring on Yo Gabba Gabba in the background, which might be the most annoying song ever invented. I'm positive the person who wrote that song is an evil wizard who concocted the song in such a way to tangle itself in your brain so you'll have the song stuck in your head for weeks at a time. Asshole.
This is a potential "every once in a while" kinda day, I can already feel it.
Buut, I don't really have the luxury of giving up right now, because it is completely counter-productive and will only cause more difficulty. I've decided that being a good, or at least a functioning, mom is forcing myself to be as selfless as possible, which is really hard when dealing with an almost-two-year-old who know nothing other than total selfishness.
So, what I'm trying to say is don't... don't... don't bite your friends. Dammit. No, that's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm TRYING to say, is being a mom to a toddler is SO HARD especially when my hormones are tending to make me feel a lot selfish lately.
Avery is having a tantrum on the floor right now. I gotta go. Avery is screaming for her dad, who is at work, because lately, I have represented "evil" and has has represented "good" to our daughter as of late. She's probably right.
Keep it together, self.
deep breath.
Glad to hear from you. Those of us that have been there, totally understand. Being pregnant and having anyone else in the house under 3 is madness.They don't tell us that in the books:) You are a great Mommy. Deep breath. Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteDebi
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/
The having to pay attention to our kids, in order to be good Mommies...that's why I normally post at 2 am. I forgo sleep for my blog:) It's alright, I'm still a good Mommy...just really, really TIRED:) Happy Mothering ANd DON'T Bite our FRIENDS!LOL
I can only imagine! I am useless when I am preggo. I can barely keep up with my tot and Im not preggo! Wait, where is my tot??!! hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteI solve the whole "ignoring tot" dealy most of the time by writing posts in the middle of the night (or like commenter above...at like 2am!) and then scheduling them to post the following day. Ahhh the love of technology!
Im sure you are doing a great job managing the best way you can....okay gotta go pull my tot out of the toilet!
Dee
You totally deserve time off blogging! I can only get around to blogging when my little beast is napping and most of the time I feel like being a non-productive-lazy-ass. If I leave her "unattended" for 30 seconds she'll have an entire box of Kleenex emptied, an entire cupboard or drawer emptied and be standing on the kitchen table with her hands down her pants! As for yo gabba gabba....sadly it's my lifesaver most days. It's the only thing Kenz will watch so I can empty the dishwasher without worrying she's gonna grab a knife. It's horrible but wonderful at the same time for me :/
ReplyDeleteI think every mom doubts herself, it doesn't make ME feel better but at the same time I know I'm not alone in wondering if I'm damaging my child or not doing enough for her. :)
I feel like when the clock strikes 10:30 I start the count down in my head to nap time and think about all of the things I'm going to get done on the computer and what work I'm going to try to get done. It's impossible even to talk on the phone with a toddler around, Or text. If I'm texting, he's tugging at my legs for my attention. It's impossible to do almost anything with conrad around!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty when you have those lazy days and baby #2 is draining the life out of you! You're allowed those days! Thank God that Conrad has started to get into tv (as bad as that sounds), he finally has found a show he loves (signing time) and he's such a zombie when I put it on. It's really helped with teething. It's a good distraction, but Yo Gabba Gabba is way cooler!
*Hugs!*
Gosh, I've missed your posts beyond belief!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine being pregnant right now with a toddling Story. It would drive me bonkers! The hormones...the hot flashes...the screaming toddler...it just doesn't seem like a good mix. So I give you props for everything you are doing! Hang in there! :-)
Oh man. It's hard enough for me and I'm not pregnant. I do not at all blame you for wanting some time to yourself, to do your own thing, to be frustrated.
ReplyDeleteSOFIA! How I've missed your blogginess, I hate that song too it drives me f'in nuts! Oh just wait til the little nugget comes out, there is no such thing as time for yourself with two babies. I often growl "like a man," myself for some "me" time. Anyhow I gotta go, Logan is eating a handful of pennies :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! I think being preggers is totally an excuse to take a bloggy vacay! I don't know how you do it!
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up pretty lady! And you have every right to feel selfish!! It just doesn't mean you always get to act on it... DAMMIT!!
ReplyDelete