cougars and schooners and loading OH MY!

Oh my godddd can you believe that I spent YET ANOTHER weekend binge drinking without my children! 

I swearrrrr this is not a normal past few weekends for me... I usually tend to spend my end o' weeks happily covered in spit up and pee and Spaghetti-O's. 

Anyway, I went to Newport Beach for threeee days on a milfs' girls' trip with my mother in-law, aunt-in-law, and their long-time friends. I like to call them the "Cougar Pack" and they are awesome. The weekend may or may not have included the following things:

* A three hour stretch that absolutely no one can remember on Friday night- thanks to these beauties right here:

(...they are called "schooners" and they will end you.)

* All of us getting "Spice Girl" nicknames. Ironically I ended up being "Old Spice" but the others ranged from "Racist Spice" to "Strap-on Spice" (don't ask)

* Each of us consuming hundreds of thousands of calories a day (nachos, pasta, ham and cheese croissants, CHEESEBURGERS FOR BREAKFAST?!!) that we elegantly referred to as "loading" rather than "pigging out" or "gorging" or "doing everything humanly possible to get as fat we could in 3 days".

(That's me. And that's some legit pasta right there. SERIOUSLY I gained 10 lbs, not eeevveeenn joking. On the upside- I just had a baby (three months ago) and I'm still in the clear to use it as an excuse... SCORE.)

Ughhh I had so much fun! Even considering I couldn't chime in on any of the sex talk for fear that my mom-in-law would puke/run away.

 Sooo what I'm trying to say is I hope I get invited next time even though I made them all grab my boobs at a bar on Friday night.  

And how did my husband do with the two kids all weekend, you ask? 

Amazing.

On Friday he took them to the Mirage to see the dolphins, then the next day to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay. Then super deep cleaned the house and did laundry and even cleaned and put away the dishes last night?!!

Say What?! Whatta man!

In other news, Avery found Barack O'Baby (<-- read this, it's funny) again. Look at her face! Apparently we still have some work to do!

Have a great week! I will be working on unloading.